Thursday, March 26, 2009

Don’t tread on me

I don’t have anything to say tonight as I write this. It’s been a blech sort of day. Yesterday’s post took it all out of me, I guess. Ha! I’m not trying to elicit sympathy either. God, please don’t think that. I’ve been to so many positive, wonderful blogs where people are doing the best with what life deals them and I’m just another person who’s making the best out of a bad situation.

DSC_0004 copy 2

I thank you for your kindness and your concern, not only to my regular readers but to all the new faces I keep seeing here. But sometimes I just suck. Today I was just not motivated. I’m sick and tired of things. I sometimes have to force myself to take a walk with George every day and even though today I almost didn’t do it, I was glad I did in the end. A walk just clears your mind sometimes. Shortly after I came back in the house there was a knock on the front door. I wasn’t happy when I looked out the window before opening it only to see a meat delivery truck with a young man sitting inside and another young man standing on my steps and talking to George who was on the lawn.

When I opened the door, young man #2 started exclaiming how beautiful my dog was. I just looked at him. He extended his hand and I looked at him and asked what he wanted. He said he’d just been in the neighborhood next door and thought he’d drop by here to see if I’d be interested in . . . I cut in and told him I wasn’t interested in anything. I can’t afford it either, I told him. And he asks me how I knew that. How I knew that I couldn’t afford it.

Loudly, I said BECAUSE I KNOW. Now, please leave. And I shut the door in his face.

He didn’t look very happy as I looked out the window, but he pretended to be as he bounded back down the front steps. I never smiled once. I’m usually very nice, but I was just so taken aback that people think they can just show up at your front door and give you a sales pitch. And how do I know they’re not scoping the place out to come back some time when we’re not home? I wanted him to think we were poor (which we sort of are) just in case they were thinking of coming back.

Do I sound paranoid?

I don’t trust anyone around here. It’s a long driveway and we’re still somewhat isolated where we are. This Saturday I was out in the yard, raking the leaves from under the bushes and a little car pulled up with a man inside who apologized for intruding but he was just interested in where the road went.

I smiled and told him it went here and he was now on private property and pointed out where he could turn around the car.

He kept apologizing for intruding, telling me he worked for UPS, lived on such and such a street in the nearby town, had 2 little girls and he was a nice guy. He was just interested in history and the old houses in the area. I kept my distance and told him these were all nice things but it was time for him to go.

It’s not that I’m afraid. I’m just really wary. I just don’t feel as safe because my husband isn’t the strong man he used to be. I’ll get used to it I guess. I mean it’s not like I need a man around to protect me or anything, but damn they are nice to have sometimes, aren’t they?

Despite my wariness, it’s a good place to hide out for awhile. And besides, George is happy here.

Until tomorrow, dear friends . . .

PS~Hope you like the little hyacinth. I’m sure I’ll be more cheerful tomorrow. The blech never lasts too long.

39 comments:

The Blue Ridge Gal said...

Sorry for the bad day. We all have them from time to time, it's called life.

I'm wary of people coming down our road that don't belong here as well. Our road dead-ends. It's a private road that is maintained by those of us who live here... the county does not take care of it. SO, if people come down here they should belong here.

I love having the two rottweilers and I have a sign posted on our fence that they are here. We also have a gun in the house.... I'm not paranoid about living here... just realistic and careful. :-))

Hope the sun shines down on you tomorrow!

Di
The Blue Ridge Gal

numberonesistah said...

::::hugs::::

I hate the blechs too.

Michelle at Boulderneigh said...

Being wary is a good thing, a smart thing. And having blech days is normal, although a walk in the fresh air is a good antidote for what ails you. Your photo, as always, is stunning!

Bush Babe said...

Oh ... I know. When you are a bit remote (as we are here) I get very suspicious when someone strange rocks up. I don't invite people in I don't know - I have two little kids and a hubby away working up the paddock. No-one has ever given me trouble, but it's always there at the back of your mind. What if? It's definitely a chick thing...

I read your post yesterday and felt it deep in my heart. What an amazing journey to be on. Isn't photography an amazing thing, an amazing escape tool. It allows you to really focus on what is beautiful and real and present. Really focus. It's me therapy when the sh** hits the rotors.

Hang tight. Your feeling of harmony will return. Love your images. Keep on taking them!!! For you and for us...
:-)
BB

Mental P Mama said...

Squazz, the retired detective would be very proud of your vigilance. You don't need anyone to protect you, but you should be aware. I am sending you nothing but bright light for the rest of the week and those to come. Love to you all, L.

Bush Babe said...

That would be "MY therapy". Dear me.

Oh, and dogs are great - I recommend a great dane to add to the kennel. Never had one person step out of line or come in uninvited with my Cosmo staring down at them through the car window!
:-)

shara said...

I read this entry and then went to the one before. I loved the daffodil entry. Wow. What an opportunity- to fall in love again. Brain tumor, not so great, love, great.

I am wary as well, especially since Stalker Guy is back.

I so enjoy reading your blog. Thanks for being such a genuine person.

Woman in a Window said...

The hyacinth is gorgeous and woman, you've more courage than you know. I'm too nice. I'm all, oh yes, serial rapist, come on in, let me help you with your bag. Really. I did that once. In Taiwan. Just lucky he didn't like foreigners. For real.

Be good to yourself.

Cam said...

I tell salespeople through the door that it's just not safe to open your door to strangers in today's world, and that they must understand that.

olivia said...

Got some more hugs for ya ... {{{{C.G.}}}}

Char said...

hey honey - I understand this....and I hate sales calls wrapped up in that fake niceness..ugh.

anything I can do to help?

JAN'S PLACE said...

Hang in there Kate, tomorrow will be better..thanks for writing, even though you didn't feel like it.

I understand what you mean about your driveway, and being out a ways ..

I think the same thing when a stranger pulls up my driveway.. are they seeing if someone isn't home??

Jan;)

Shellmo said...

Sorry to hear about your bad day- you're entitled to have one. I think you are smart to be wary. Maybe you should post a private drive sign and a no soliciting sign.

Flea said...

Your hyacinth is gorgeous. My dogs stay in most of the time and bark like mad when someone comes to the door. They don't care for strangers in the yard either. A good deterrent. Though there are times I wish they were more laid back.

When we move to a new house, I always tell kids that they bite. Like you, I'm wary of people scoping out an easy mark.

Treasia said...

I'm sorry you are having (or have had) one of those days. Everyone is entitled to them now and again. After all we're only human.

I see nothing wrong with not opening doors to strangers. one can never be to careful. Have you thought about posting a sign at the end of your driveway that says "posted, private drive" or something such as this. I see them all the time around Arkansas. If I were you I believe I would be doing this.

Delwyn said...

Good morning Kate
I always think a walk does wonders to blow the cobwebs out, especially a walk with a dog...
Happy days

Laura said...

Blech seems to be going around... You never know the intentions of others when they invite themselves into your life like that...We have a fella stop by every spring offering to paint our barn roof (we don't have money either, that too seems to be going around, but we've always live pay check to pay check.) Last summer, we had someone pull into our driveway while we were not at home, and they left a note on our door explaining that she drove by our house every day on her way to work and that she loved our house very much and wondered if we were considering selling it in the near future (phone number and address included!)...and then a few days later, she and her man showed up and asked us in person "Oh, we just love your house, it's exactly what we're looking for." (Well, in May 1995, when it was for sale, it was exactly what we were looking for too.) Now...it's flattering that folks love our house, it's a mighty nice old farmhouse with the wrap-around front porch, and my flower garden at that particular part of the summer was in all of its glory...but it's dang annoying when people feel so compelled to invade our privacy...I'll tell ya, it left me in a terrible mood for days afterwards, especially knowing that this woman passes by our house every day on her way to work, privately coveting our house that we have worked so hard to buy, fix up, and maintain. Oy vey, the nerve of some people!

I hope you perk up again soon, love up your man and love up your pup! Life is good.

All my best,

Laura

Marla said...

I hope you mood is better tomorrow...

Random people freak me out as well. I think it must be a girl thing...

Garnetrose said...

I think we all have days like that. I have had a week like that lately.

The way things are today, I can understand anyone not wanting strangers trying to sell you anything or doing anything to get you to open a door to them. Sad that we have to be like that but that is how it is.

I live in a remote area also. We have guns and dogs. Being wary is a smart thing.

melaine said...

I'm sorry you having a blech day. The picture of the hyacinth was beautiful. The color of the hyacinth is exquisite. Isn't it strange how your husband having a brain tumor contributed to saving your marriage. Isn't is strange as well that life's little or big curses turn out to be life's blessings. Hope you have a better day tomorrow. Melaine

The Weaver of Grass said...

I read yesterday's post, but didn't leave a comment. Now I have read today's post. You sound to be on a bit of a roller-coaster but I am so heartened by your attitude. Don't give up now. We all have bad days and you have that wonderful George who loves you to bits even though he can't tell you as much. Your husband has survived the operation and is still with you - you have to be grateful for that too. And from the number of comments - all you bloggy friends are thinking of you - so I do hope tomorrow is better for you. I send love from UK

Thistle Cove Farm said...

"Fatigue makes cowards of us all." Vince Lombardi said that and there's a good deal of truth there. Yes, you should be wary, please DO listen to that "uh oh" feeling. Consider putting up No Trespassing and No Salesmen signs at the driveway beginning, it won't stop them all but it may stop some of them. Like Blue Ridge Gal, I'm a big believer in guns and knowing how to use them.

SquirrelGurl said...

I think you did right to turn those salesman away, I don't know what part of Maryland you are in but my parents live on the upper Eastern Shore and my Mom received an email alert about men posing as meat salesman with the intention of scouting prospects for robberies. This was a few months back, and not have been anything but it was just too much of a coincidence not to mention it.

Besides, when was the last time meat was sold door to door? Omaha Steaks does online and phone orders, Schwan's (sp?) has those huge trucks brimming with ice cream and who knows what else...

Living where my parents do, on a dead end road that leads to a paved farm lane they get a lot of "wanderers". They drive right by the "private" sign and go right down to our barns and everything. Some people even have the gall to open up the gate that blocks access to the farm!

Pam said...

It's blah around here too. I think some nice warm weather would cheer everyone up. You were right to be wary of the meat guy. I too live in a remote area and you just don't expect to see people selling things at your doorstep like you would in a big neighborhood.

asthmagirl said...

I often feel the same sense of caution. With my Old Goat working the odd shifts he does, I am often alone with my daughter whose disability renders her incapable of spotting danger. It is a lot of responsibility and I often find myself distrusting of the most mundane interactions.

Wishing you a lighter burden and a brighter day.

Daryl said...

Blech is permitted ... and walking with George is like going to the gym. You dont want to but when you do you feel ever so much better ..

TSannie said...

There's a lot of blech going around. I know from experience.

Spruce Hill said...

it does not help that the sun has gone away!

Hope you have a better day today!

Deb said...

DO NOT let George out by himself. This creep may come back. Baseball bat by the front door and under your bed?
Oh gosh..now I am worried...I hate unexpected visitors.

imom said...

I'm wary of people coming to my door too. It doesn't hurt anything to be cautious.

I have a bad case of the blechs at the moment too, althouh looking at pictures of George helps a little.

I love the hyacinth photo, such beautiful colors!

Ellen said...

What an invasion of your privacy. I guess that's why I never wanted to live in the country - I like to have people around me.

As far as the "blechies," well I think that's part of spring - one day it's sunny and beautiful and warm and the next day it's cold and dreary and rainy. But it's spring and the trees are budding and the grass is greening up and that means summer is coming. Hang in there Kate. You've got spring break to look forward to.

cottage farm villa (cottagecharm) said...

Kate ~ How you are feeling is understandable. Strangers coming around your place (especially after the chair incident) is just beginning to be too much! And I am sure you are frightened of your husband being alone as well as his limited strength while you are there. I get it girl...and I feel for you. Can I suggest that you get two steel posts to put on the sides of the beginning of the driveway and link a chain across that you can stop at and unlink when you come and go? Even if you put it in 20 ft or so if the road is right there. That way you could turn into the driveway at least and then stop to unlink the chain. Or, back to the owners and my "surveillence camera" idea...can they install a gate.

- With blocking the driveway - strangers would have to park and walk....I don't think they would go through that trouble. ?? Just a thought to ease your mind. hugs.

Natarojo said...

No worries we all have blehc days. I'm having one today myself. My brain is over loaded fro studying last night, my eyes are tired and sore from it, and I really just want to go home and rest, not be here at work... ah well. Im heading across the boarder this weekend and headed down to Oregon. Hopefully my week away (although be it at a course) will do me some good.

It's kind of sad when the world has gotten to a point we all feel we need to be wary of whats going on around us. But unfortunately its valid to feel that way. Our driveway is gated as we are on a farely busy street and have the horses and dogs to worry about escaping, and I still find myself starting down cars that pull into our driveway to turn around.

Delphine said...

Oh,I was very moved to read your last two posts. I am so sorry about your husband and hope that being together and caring more for each other is easing the pain somewhat for both of you. It is partiularly poignant for me as I have just posted about my late husband who died 8 years ago tomorrow , the 27th March. I shall always miss him for both the good times and the bad times. You are right in being wary of strangers, it is a woderful world but there are a minority ( I hope) of strange and frightening people in it! I shall return .

Fenway said...

You did the right thing about the strange people just showing up and IMHO are right on target about wariness. It's rude. And worse, it's odd. The world just isn't a safe enough place anymore.

Here's a story...last year a man showed up at the front door at while I was fixing dinner on a Saturday night. Mind you, I was actually frying something, which takes all my skill and watchfulness. So, I was more than annoyed at this stranger's cheekiness. He asked me if I had some time to answer some questions. I huffily told him "NO! It's the dinner hour and I'm cooking!" and slammed the door in his face. (I'd never done this before...am usually polite).

The next week my neighbor came by and told me that he'd put us down as people for the FBI to contact so they could do a background check on him. He needed neighbors, I guess, but dumbass should have given me a head's up.

Yes, I slammed the door in the FBI-man's face! haha. But, in my defense, he never showed a badge or introduced himself first as an official. I am now known about the street as Pam the Slam.

So, laugh it off. It's just not fair that strangers "showing up" should make you feel badly or doubt yourself.

Right on, Country Girl! Stay tough.

Coloradolady said...

Well, at least you can vent on your blog. I can not. I have to hold it all in, and just let it swelter there. Too many family members read my blog, and to be honest, I wish they did not know about it. I almost think I am going to open up a different blog just to get it all out so to speak.....I feel your pain. We all have those feelings more times than not these days..it is hard to stay up beat at times. Hang in there my friend....

Linzi said...

Keep your chin up x x

Kristin said...

Love the hyacinth!

There is a lot in your life that is uncertain right now. Your wariness is understandable and a good defense mechanism. Just don't let it push your friends away. :0)

Mary said...

Kate,
You've got a lot on your plate. I would probably be a basket case were I in your shoes. Hang in there -- there are a lot of people sending good thoughts and prayers your way. :)

And yes, I have had those guys selling meat knock on my door, too. It definitely creeps me out. My husband, whose father was a cop, is really suspicious of anyone like that.

Hope you are having a good weekend. It's sort of cloudy/rainy here...
xoxo,
Mary