Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Sharin' the love

Me on the left, Adrienne in the middle and my sister Char on the right. Somewhere in there is my friend, Karen, but she got lost in the shuffle. We aren't crying, we're laughing. They came out that weekend not to help me clean, but to help me pack for my move and to cheer me up.

I never wanted to just come out and say what's been happening in my life because it's not all about me. It involves my husband and some things are just personal, you know. But he told me it's ok to share the basics, especially if it would make me feel better talking about it. I don't want pity, nor does he. God, I just couldn't deal with that.

My husband is a cancer survivor. Brain tumor, May 2004. It was traumatic, to say the least. And slowly, over time, life returned to normal, albeit a new normal. He had some short-term memory loss, pretty specific to names. Horses names, peoples names, that sort of thing. But other than that, you'd never know to look at him or talk with him. Amazing.

Then at the end of June, he lost his job due to the state of the thoroughbred breeding industry in Maryland. He quickly landed another position in Pennsylvania, but we could tell from the start that it wasn't working out. He wasn't happy, but we needed the job.

In September, however, during a routine screening for tumor recurrence, the latest MRI showed some changes. A visit with a surgeon at Johns Hopkins confirmed our worst fear. The tumor had returned.

And then my father passed away. I couldn't go out to be with him because my place was here with my husband. I had to say my farewell over the speaker phone.

This specific brain tumor has an exceedingly high recurrence rate. Known as a glioblastoma multiforme, it's a bugger of a thing. And so far, he'd beaten the odds. For four and a half years, he astounded his doctors at Hopkins, surprising them by staying well.

Surgery was highly recommended and the sooner the better. We'd already scheduled the move for this past Saturday, and the only opening for the surgery was Friday. We could have gone with another surgeon, but we wanted the best. And so Friday, it was. To make a long, scary story short, my husband is doing well at the moment. That's really all I want to get into at this time and I'd really just like to forget the whole weekend. But I'll tell you what I will always remember . . .

How does one move into a home under these circumstances, do you think? Well, we did it with the help of our friends and family and I don't know what we would have ever done without them. My sister, Char came out first thing Saturday morning. My youngest son was there helping by taking care of the dog and cat and helping us pack. Then my husband's sister, Helen and her husband Bob showed up at the new place in time for the movers to arrive. Adrienne and Bobby, who arrived at our old place on Friday night, and helped us until my husband arrived home from the hospital on Monday, were a Godsend. One of my friends from work who lives nearby brought dinner on moving day.

Everyone unpacked our things, setting up our furniture, our books, kitchen things, bed linens, and even set out familiar pictures of our family for my husband and . . . it was amazing. I don't know how I will ever thank all these people. And when I brought my husband home from the hospital to our new place, he slowly walked around, looked at everything, and sat down. He was completely overwhelmed that people would do all this for us. And with tears in his eyes, he told me that this house was wonderful. And that it would all be ok.

So this is my story. This is my life. I am fine. I'll be back when I can. I still have much to do and have taken some time off my work to be with my husband.

So, until then, my friends . . .



68 comments:

Pat - An Arkansas Stamper said...

{{{Kate & DH}}}

Tug said...

I have been lurking and truly enjoying your photos for some time...my prayers are with you both.

DesertHen said...

Sending my heartfelt thoughts and prayers your way....(((((HUGS)))) to you both.

You have amazing family and friends, they deserve ((((HUGS)))too........

msdewberry said...

My prayers and thoughts are with you. I am glad that the move was one thing that you did not have to stress over. Sounds like you have awesome friends and family that are there for you.
Take care.

Sue said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your husband....

snerkology said...

Lovely Kate, you have wonderful friends and you ARE a wonderful friend. I'm so sorry you're both having to go through all of this! You're both in my thoughts and prayers, and your outlook is such an inspiration to us all. Take good care of BOTH of you. xoxo

Molly said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your husband and boys. Take care of yourself, too, in all of this.

Andi (RrlScrapGal) said...

Wow.. what a beautiful circle of friends and family...
My heart goes out to you, for the loss of your father, and for all that you have endured this past month or so....
Peace be with you and your husband.. How beautiful your love for each other comes through your words...
I am sending prayers to you both...
and Peace.. again, peace...
.

ELK said...

kate I am sure you must feel lots of different feelings.... what a lot of change for you ~ blessings of friends and family are so important!

I will be thinking of you both as this journey continues....

Mental P Mama said...

As you said earlier, God is good. So are family and friends. Sending love.

TSannie said...

Blessings, Kate (and also all your loved ones), just blessings.
abb

Miriam Lovell Dyer said...

My heart goes out to you and your husband as well, Kate. Sending best wishes your way...

Jen said...

I'm so, so glad that he came out of surgery well. Big hugs. Sending prayers your way.

TSannie said...

Me again - just remember you have MANY friends...who will be at your side at a moments notice. Even if you've never up-close-and-personal met us. We're there...

Pamela Terry and Edward said...

I am sincerely sorry you and your husband are having to go through this. I will certainly be saying prayers for you both and am sending my best of wishes and thoughts your way tonight.

olivia said...

Kate -- sending lots of love to you and your husband, and the all the best vibes and thoughts and good wishes. Your family and friends are wonderful, and I'm so glad you have them there w/ you.

Jeannelle said...

Oh, my, Kate....ordeal upon ordeal. You and your husband will be in my prayers and thoughts. Yes, what wonderful support family and friends you have surrounding you. What a blessing! Keep that upbeat attitude and know many are praying for your situation.

Carin said...

What a blessing to have friends and family to help you through this hard time. And I have a strong feeling that George is a big part of this healing process as well!

Prayers are with you and your husband. Hugs to you.

Laura ~Peach~ said...

hugs and prayers and email anytime!
Love Laura

Maria said...

Kate, you've been in my thoughts this past week and I had no idea that this was also going on. Sending my best wishes, thoughts and prayers to you both.

Hilary said...

Looks like that bigger plate took the wonderful form of family and friends. Good people draw good friends.

noble pig said...

Oh Kate, I knew you would tell us when you were ready. Oh you guys, my heart just goes out to you, I can't even imagine, the stress you are under right now. I am so, so sorry for all of it. I'm sure you're family anf friends were so happy to do everything for you, you know they were. People love to help like that.

I know you will tell us more when you are ready. I wish your hubby a speedy recovery and tell him wea re thinking of him in California. Take care.

Annie said...

Prayers for you all, Kate

Annie

Coloradolady said...

Prayers are being sent up for your husband and yourself...Take care of yourself so you will be able to care for him.

Peace be with you.

Toni said...

Stormin' heaven for you

Ellen said...

Prayers for you and your husband.

God bless your family and friends.

Egghead said...

Kate,
What a blessing to have such wonderful family and friends. I understand completely what you are going through as you know. Please know you are in my heart and I am praying for both of you.
Blessings.

Mary said...

Your strength is an inspiration. My heart goes out to you and your family, and my thoughts and prayers are with you.
xoxo,
Mary

Kacey said...

Oh, Kate! My thoughts and prayers are with you and your dh! What a stressful year you've had!

You do have wonderful friends and family though, don't you? What a blessing they are. Hang in there!

Anonymous said...

I've missed you.....So sorry for all that is happening right now.You are in my thoughts and prayers,What would we do without great friends and family?God didn't promise days without pain,laughter without sorrow,nor sun without rain,but he did promise strength for the day,comfort for the tears and light for the way....

Debra (a/k/a Doris, Mimi) said...

So glad that you're back and that all is falling into place for you and hubby. You have been constantly on my mind, and in my thoughts and prayers. God doesn't give us more than we can handle, Kate. Today is the beginning of the rest of your lives.

Sending love and hugs your way...

debbie peterson said...

Missed you!!!You are in my thoughts and prayers. Thank the Lord for great friends and family.God didn't promise days without pain,laughter without sorrow,nor sun without rain,but he did promise strength for the day,comfort for the tears, and light for the way.

dlyn said...

Oh Kate - this made me cry! Not the struggles, but the sweetness of the friends and family who did so much, with such grace. I am glad that you felt able to tell us a bit more about what is going on. Praying that your husband continues to beat the odds.

FarmHouse Style said...

I offer my thoughts and prayers for you and your husband, Kate.

The compassionate acts of your friends and family is truly inspriational. I know they must be a tremendous source of strength and comfort for you both.

Take care.
Rhonda

tj said...

...God bless you both Kate and DH. My thoughts and prayers are with you...

...{{{{{{Hugs}}}}} to you and many blessings too... :o)

Treasia said...

Many many hugs to you Kate and of course DH as well. Many blessings to your wonderful family as well. Take all the time you need for healing both DH and yourself. If you need me let me know.

Acorn said...

So glad you got your internet up! Yippie. How did "TUG" get her pupil in the shape of a heart?

I started crying reading all the comments so I had to change the subject in my head. I want starry pupils!!!

Love you guys,
Adrienne

Sarah S. said...

Oh Kate I am so sorry! I am glad you are settled and your husband is home. Hopkins is the best hospital in the world. How lucky for you to be so close!

Hang in there and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!

Cancer survivors, We are tough people, Give him a squeeze from me!

Tug said...

acorn - I just found the image doing a google search; I didn't actually make it. ;-)

Deb said...

Oh, Kate, I wish you the best. When times become tough, our family and friends are our greatest gifts.
I "heart" you and wish you good things in the future. You are a very strong lady. Stay close to the Lord and He will guide you both.

Daryl said...

Sending you all sorts of strong positive vibes ... and for husband even more .. from one cancer survivor (me) to another (him) ... you know you can do it ... we're all pulling for you.

Hugs to your both .. gentle hugs ...

:-Daryl

The Weaver of Grass said...

You will both be in my thoughts. I hope all these comments help you to realise you have support. There is nothing like friends and family to help you through a crisis. Very best wishes to you both.

Annette said...

Thank Goodness for friends and family! I have been following your blog for a while and love it! Also think George is a handsome fellow! Hope your husband is doing well. I know no one can predict the future and the only thing we can do is live each day the best we can and believe in hope. Hope all is well in your world today!

Country Girl said...

Oh. My. God. I just sat down at my computer to make a medication chart for my husband and thought I should check my mail. I can't believe how much support there is here. Welcome to all who are new to this site, and to those who have been following this blog who I haven't heard from until now. It's a beautiful day here in Maryland. It's quiet and peaceful and I am moving things around and cleaning windows. Yay.

~ C.G.

Elaine said...

Wishing you gentle blessing and the healing that time will bring for you both.

willow said...

Your blog has been such a cheery inspiration to me, I had no idea you were experiencing all of this. My thoughts and prayers will certainly be with you and yours. Take care, dear bloggy friend.

Willow x

Anonymous said...

i love you aunt kate
~melanie

bob on the job said...

love you guys and love those pop tarts! anytime anyplace. call and we will be there. bobby

Erin said...

God bless you both and you are on my prayer list Kate...
Many, many hugs from our house to yours.

Odd Chick said...

Hey Country Girl, I'm glad I read your story after the surgery and you have mostly happy news to report. You've been through so much and I admire your positive and thankful attitude. God gets all the glory when one of His kids react to adversity like that! Know lots of prayers are with you.

Adventure girl wanna be said...

Boy oh boy! You and your husband are in my prayers!

PJ said...

I came here from Midlife by Farmlight and I'm deeply moved by your circumstances. You and your family definitely have my prayers.

womaninawindow said...

ooohhhhh,
all my best.
May he beat it again!
welcome to your new home.
fill it with love.
erin

MAYBELLINE said...

Tremendous.

Adventures Of A Horse Crazed Mind said...

I needed a good cry, which is good because this blog sure did it. I dont know what to say besides I am sorry for your troubles and wish you and yours good health and strength to get through. From my family to yours, Bless you.

Russell said...

I will say a prayer for you, too... And I am not a religious person so I will need to introduce myself to Him again.

But for you, your husband and your family please know my prayers are sincerely with you at this time.

Take care and know a lot of people are with you.

brneyedgal967 said...

With your husband's attitude- combined with yours, yes, things will be alright. Keeping both of you in my thoughts and prayers. Thanks for sharing.

{{{{Big hug}}}}

Lew said...

It's times like this when you know who your special friends are - related or not! You have the best kind there is. God will guide you through this. Take care.

Frank Baron said...

Nothing trumps family.

I hope your husband continues to confound doctors and that where you are will soon feel like home.

Jo said...

Kate! How much more can you take??? My prayers and thoughts are with you.

Nan said...

My comment on the kitchen post was so light-hearted, and I wrote it before I read this. My heart goes out to you both, and I pray everything is fine.

Donna S. said...

Girl, Nobody is going to pity you. Quit it!! Care, yes!! Take care of you & yours. You will be in prayers!!

Kelly said...

My love and heartfelt prayers are with you and your hubby! I took a bit of a blogging break so I'm just getting back and catching up with people and didn't know this about your hubby. I'm so sorry that you're going through all of this! Hubby sounds like a real "fighter" and with you at his side, I'm sure he's going to continue to get stronger! You are an amazing woman and I wish there was something that I could do to help you but for now I will continue to keep you all in my prayers! May God Bless you and your entire family and bring you peace and lots of love!

Kristin said...

I imagine there is no need to find a way to thank your friends and family; they already know. People who step in so seemlessly and perform the exact things we need are simply an extension of God's love for you. Clearly you have lived a life that blesses you in such a love filled way.

Kate, you will be in my prayers as will your husband. May God continue to work miracles in your lives.

Hugs to you both.

Amber said...

Kate, I know this is was posted awhile ago, but I just now read it. I didnt realize what all you had been through!! I am so happy to know that your husband is doing well now! This post just goes to show that there really are WONDERFUL,GIVING people in this world!!

Christine said...

Ah Kate, you have been through so much! I'm sorry I was there to send ((HUGS)) and support your way. Looks like we have both been through a lot over the last 6 months. I am hoping to get more time over the next couple of weeks to "visit" you more and even get back to my blog... as soon as I figure out what I want to do with it. :)

Take care and I've missed you!

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Gail said...

I have a story of where I've been but no excuses for not being here for you...

May healing continue and know you both are in my thoughts and prayers.